So a few friends and a very worried husband recently asked me “why haven’t you written anything in such a long time?”. Well I have (even wrote a poem) just not blogs, as in a formal article of sorts which I can then post and Social Media for people to read it.
I just smile and stay silent. Because first I am being my plain old lazy self (I procrastinated for three days before writing this one which then took me just an hour to complete.) Second – what should I write about? I have from Day One said that I am the Unmumsy Mum, I am no Parent Blogger. I do not give tips – I am work in process myself. I rarely do reviews – I have way too many ethical issues, its all too subjective and who am I to tell you what to buy? (I actually have the biggest problem with the term “influencer”, because that essentially implies that people need someone to make decisions for them) So what then?
I am not loving the current “scene” in all honesty. Its a bit much for a person like me to handle. Because as readers, I think, we are reading to react. So essentially as writers, we write – for a reaction. So, this is what is happening. We take a hot topic, stir in the hatred and anger, add in some cuss words for flavor and watch it simmer. We then bash the political scene as tempering and voila – Negativity is Served.
Let me explain. I was watching Bajrangi Bhaijaan recently (yea, and so?), and as always I watch movies in bits (short attention span). Nawazuddin Siddique, a journalist, tries to convince his boss that Salman Khan was not the bad guy he was made out to be, the boss doesn’t buy into it. He turns around and tells Salman “Buri khabar jaldi bikti hai, achi khabar ka koi kharidaar nahin hai” (Bad news sells quickly, while there are no buyers for the good news)
Now this is SO true really. I watched a video which stated that we are being brainwashed by the media into believing that the times we live in are very unsafe. I do believe that there is some truth to that. And I think its because – Bad news sells! Recently, at the National Day Rally speech in Singapore, the PM spoke about curbing diabetes. He gave the breakdown of the figures between the different nationalities in Singapore (Indians led the “race”). The media, however, focused on one particular race in the headline, because the current Presidential Election is only open to that race and there is already a bit of a dispute there. Oh and the drama surrounding the 38 Oxley Road!! So much negativity! But this is it. Negativity gets the attention. Always.
Now – I cannot “sell” bad news. And – I am not a negative person. I stay away from negativity. I am actually even scared to admit that I liked the movies those “reviewers” have bashed – in fear of being bashed! So as a solution, I do not follow reviewers, also because most are biased and so many paid. I go ahead and watch most seemingly ok films and Yes, I enjoyed Aye dil hai mushkil and Jab Harry met Sejal. There, I said it. A movie for me is not a life lesson. Life is a lesson enough, I am not looking at fictional characters dressed in gorgeous designer outfits, doing their desi thumkas and showing off their sexy six packs (or was it eight?) for inspiration. And unless it is an out an out garbage film which I will walk out of (and not mention on Social Media), for me, it is a movie. A stress buster. Nothing more nothing less.
You know, I am a nice person….. No really, I am. Very. But even I have my limits. My inner bitch is asleep most of the time (think she’s as lazy as me). But. She’s asleep, not dead. Those who know me (and there are really just a handful who would) will recommend its best that she lay low. And I agree. Which is why I stay away from issues that do not concern me, because when (and I do mean “when”) she emerges – she really is not nice. So, just because I do not troll, doesn’t mean I do not have a voice. Just because I chose to not respond, doesn’t mean I do not have an answer. Just because I avoid confrontations, doesn’t mean I will back down from a fight. I just do not want to contribute to the “noise”, that’s all!
Everyone is a writer. All you need is a smart phone now really. And don’t even get me started on the blogging scene! I was once approached by a blogger (with a blog page et all) aaking for tips on blogging!!! Of course that mail went unanswered. So yes, it is noisy. To be heard, you have to “Yell”, the louder the better.
Which brings me to what they “Yell” about. Everyone has a “mudda” (issue) because again – that is what gets the eyeballs and you are not taken seriously as a writer unless you have one. I do not have one because I cannot play the victim/ martyr. I am none. I have had my share of struggles but I deal with it. If there is something I do not like, I do what Mahatma Gandhi said “be the change” . I will not wait for “society” to change their mindset before I change. No. The change begins with me. I am in control, I will be the change – even if that means having to stand on my own – alone. Add to it my “mera kya” attitude and my laziness. There is very little that stirs me or is a “mudda” for me. And therefore, I shall forever remain the “childish” writer who lacks “substance”.
Ok, so clearly I am not selling what is currently “in demand”. Negativity. Whether it is the bigger issues like governance, war and crime or more lifestyle based like aging, weight loss or parenting. Fear, low self esteem, bad body image is sold so when a solution is offered, we grab them – literally. Recently at a mall I was offered a sample of a fairness cream. I just stared at her so she apologizes and quickly replaces it with an anti aging cream! *Face Palm* She was just doing her job, I get it. But this is what happens. Insecurity is sold, for you to buy a solution (read chemical laden products that do more harm than good). I am inching to 40, I really do not need to be told I that I am aging, it is inevitable, cycle of life. I will take care of myself, maintain myself, treat myself right BUT I will not want to (don’t think I can either really, at least not non surgically) reverse aging. I do not want to get rid of the “laugh lines”, they are proof that I have laughed. I do not want to reduce the wrinkles, they are proof that I have lived. I do not want to tighten my cheeks, they are proof my son has played with them.
So no, I cannot (and will not) compete with 20 something year olds or worse 40 something year olds passing off as 20 something year olds. No pouty selfies for me, no stiff smiles, no plastic grins! I refuse to be a part of that “game”. I will not, for money, sell insecurity when I know better – aging is natural, weight loss is no rocket science and that there is no such thing as “Perfection”. Perfection is so Over Rated *Eye Roll*
So let’s see. I am not “selling” what everyone wants to buy, and definitely not the demographic being targeted for “buying” what’s being sold. Where does that leave me?
I’ll tell you. With Labels. If I praise the government I am a “bhakt” in India, a “PAP lapdog” in Singapore, if I enjoy Harry Met Sejal I am “stupid”. Ok so I post a selfie instead but that makes me a “self obsessed narcissist”, even worse are the gym selfies that apparently, indicate a deep psychological problem which needs treatment, any selfies with the husband is out of the question because that makes me an “attention seeker” or worse in an unhappy relation. We live in the same house, where is the need to post a picture together? Why the PDA? Ok so my son it is – oh then I am a “careless parent” for exposing him to the big, bad digital world. Which reminds me, I am not supposed to share my holiday images either because that implies that I am competing with other holiday makers. Food pictures automatically make me a crazy instagrammer who jumps over tables and snatches food from the kids to get the picture right.
So – What do I do? What should I write about?
My Solution – The blog is my happy space and shall forever remain so, I will do what I want, as I want. I refuse to run the race, play the game. Feel free to unsubscribe if it isn’t selling what you’re out to buy. And the same goes for my Instagram account, if you think it is over sharing, the “unfollow” button is right on top, even before you can see any of my pictures, you will see that option.
As for the rest of you who remain and even miss my writing, thank you for being so patient and generous. I will continue to post – maybe about my dogs – because then that makes me a pet lover and everyone loves a pet lover na 😉 No? Damn!
Oh btw, I even loved the “Butterfly Song” Ta!