The Unmumsy Mum

I’m not a “Mommy”! Let me re phrase that – I’m not a “mommy” kinda mom, you know the wonderful kinds you see everywhere, the cuddling, carrying, doing homework and projects together kinda mommy. The ones who vent about unsolicited advice they get on raising their “LO” (Little Ones for the not so enlightened ones). The ones who fight the demons their kids face for them, cos “you don’t mess with my LO, o no sir your don’t”!

I’m more the “Go find the answer yourself *hint* look up on google” kinda mum. I normally steer him in the direction and let him lose to go find his way around. “There is no right or wrong” is my mantra, “doesn’t matter if you win or lose, more important is that you tried” my motto and “my job isn’t to break your fall, my job is to bring you up and hope that when you do fall (and you will) your upbringing is a cushion to hopefully soften the blow and a support enough for you to rise up again and walk it off” a life mission!

So when I was gifted a “Mommy and Son” shoot for the Mother’s Day by Daddy Dearest, I was at a total loss of what I would possibly do in the shoot! I rarely cuddle the boy, I do not carry him – he’s way too old for that, not that I even remember the last time I did and we definitely do not play catch ! Pinterest was full of adoring Mums and loving sons, how gorgeous they looked in those pictures, what a fab equation they shared, the classy “dates” they went on (J’s favorite restaurant is a not-so-classy neighborhood cafe). They were everything  J and I weren’t ! Don’t get me wrong – I love the little man to death, and he dotes on me, we just do not have the “regular” parent child relation in general! I’m the first to notice and admit his flaws ! For example, with a heart of gold he comes with emotions that run like the tidal waves! Omg he is SO high strung! His wife will need a huge heart to love him and a bar full of wine to stay married to him and out of jail ! So what do I do? I was ambitious enough to plan the shoot (for about 6 months now) just drew a blank when it came to finally executing it.

So after a couple of times of rescheduling mainly due to the changes by a Dubai based “professional” photographer (the shoot was ultimately done by another truly professional photographer, one I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend, it’s a shame I cannot say the same about the earlier one) the big day arrived and I (as usual) had a sudden epiphany! So, what happened was that J was goofing around taking pictures asking me to pose so he could get the Atlantis in the background behind me and showing me his “masterpieces”. I was giving him an honest opinion and even told him “why don’t you ask Aunty Monica for tips, I’m sure she will help you” to which he goes “No, I’ll figure it out – I always do”! There ! Right there I knew I was on the right track! He will be fine! He will shine! And just like that he gave me a sneak peek of sorts into the kind of pictures I would want! That’s our relation, that’s our interaction – me guiding him exploring, me encouraging him trying, me pushing him succeeding! This is who we are and this is what we do – and this is exactly what should be etched in time, memory and space in the form of pictures , our pictures, just us, as us!

I love the images, they do define our relation. Now Mr J is my biggest fan and my worst critic, he doesn’t mince his words when he has to give an opinion and am told he writes like I do so l wonder what he has to say about this post – Only one way to find out!

Picture credit: the Fabulous and Ever Reliable Monica Chindalia who swooped in and saved the day! Some Super Heroes don’t need a cape, they make do with a camera and lens!

PS – Thrilled to be featured on Zen Parent.in as a guest writer with my very first blog ever! http://zenparent.in/parenting/the-unmumsy-mum
 

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7 Comments on The Unmumsy Mum

  1. Priya
    March 10, 2016 at 6:08 pm (2 years ago)

    Dear Harshika, lovely blog and a good learning there .. Must say you are a wonderful mom who is creating a self dependant child like J. God bless him and you all 😘 this generation is otherwise very dependant if not raised in a certain way!! Way to go, Harshika and J!!!

    Reply
  2. Pooja Guha Bansode
    April 4, 2017 at 6:50 pm (8 months ago)

    Nicely written. Lovely insight on the mother and son bond

    Reply

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